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Pacaran Islami, Memangnya Ada? Inilah Jawabannya..

Tipnoten.com - Bagi remaja, bila istilah itu disebut-sebut bisa membuat jantung berdetak lebih kencang. Siapa sih yang nggak semangat bila bercerita seputar pacaran? Semua orang yang normal pasti senang. Yang cowok berkhayal punya tampang sekeren personelnya “Westlife” supaya dikejar-kejar kaum Hawa, baik yang mengejar ingin dikencani maupun yang ingin nagih utang (hi..hi..hi..). 

Coba aja bayangin, wanita mana, sih, yang nggak deg-degan kalo lihat tampang se-cute Mark atawa Kian? Wuih, histeris, Brur! Maklum, cowok ABG yang tergabung dalam kelompok Westlife ini cool banget. Jadi, nggak heran, ‘kan, kalo anak cewek merasa nyaman sekaligus bangga dapat gacoan model begitu?

Bicara soal rasa cinta memang diakui mampu membangkitkan semangat hidup. Suer, nggak bohong! Termasudk anak masjid, yang katanya ‘dicurigai’ tak kenal cinta. Sama saja, anak masjid juga manusia, yang memiliki rasa cinta dan kasih sayang. Pasti dong, mereka juga butuh cinta dan dicintai. Soalnya, perasaan seperti itu wajar dan alami. Malah aneh bila ada orang yang nggak kenal cinta, jangan-jangan bukan orang. Nah, biasanya bagi remaja yang sedang kasmaran, mereka mewujudkan cinta dan kasih sayangnya lewat aktivitas pacaran. Kayak gimana, sih? Deuuh, pura-pura nggak tahu. Itu tuh, cowok dan cewek yang saling tertarik, lalu mengikat janji, dan akhirnya ada yang sampai hidup bersama layaknya suami-istri.

Pacaran Islami, Memangnya Ada? Inilah Jawabannya..

Omong-omong soal pacaran, ternyata sekarang ada gosip baru tentang pacaran islami. Ini kabar bener apa cuma upaya melegalkan aktivitas baku syahwat itu? Malah disinyalir, katanya banyak pula yang melakukannya adalah anak masjid. Artinya mereka itu pengen Islam, tapi pengen pacara juga. Ah, ada-ada saja!

Nggak Ada Pacaran Islami!
Memang betul, kalo dikatakan bahwa ada anak masjid yang meneladani tingkah James Van Der Beek dalam serial Dawson’s Creek, tapi bukan berarti kemudian dikatakan ada pacaran Islami. Itu nggak benar. Siapa pun yang berbuat maksiat, tetap saja berdosa. Jangan karena yang melakukan adalah anak masjid lalu ada istilah pacaran Islami. Nggak bisa, jangan-jangan nanti kalo anak masjid kebetulan lagi nongkrongin judi togel, disebut judi islami? Wah gawat bin bahaya, bro!

Tentu lucu bin menggelikan dong bila suatu saat nanti teman-teman remaja yang berstatus anak masjid atau aktivis dakwah terkena “virus” cinta kemudian mengekspresikannya lewat pacaran. Itu nggak bisa disebut pacaran islami karena memang nggak ada istilah itu. Jangan salah sangka, mentang-mentang pacarannya pakai jilbab, baju koko, dan berjenggot, lalu mojoknya di masjid kita sebut aktivitas pacaran islami. Wah, salah besar itu.

Suer, kita juga nggak pernah dengar istilah daging babi islami, hanya gara-gara disembelihnya dengan menyebut nama Allah, misalkan. Ya nggak? Begitulah, tak ada istilah pacaran islami seperti halnya tak aa istilah daging babi islami. Jangan sampai kita nekat membungkus kemaksiatan dengan embel-embel Islam. Catet itu, Brur!

Lalu, bagaimana dengan sepak terjang teman-teman remaja yang terlanjur menganggap aktivitas baku syahwatnya sebagai pacaran Islami? Sekali lagi dosa! Iya dong. Soalnya, siapapun yang melakukan kemaksiatan jeals dosa sebagai ganjarannya. Apalagi anak masjid. Malu-maluin aja.

Jadi memang pacaran islami itu nggak ada. Tapi, kenapa istilah itu bisa muncul? Boleh jadi karena teman-teman remaja hanya punya semangat keislaman tapi minus tsaqafah pengetahuan islamnya.

Mengendalikan Cinta
Siapa bilang cinta tak bisa dikendalikan? Bisa, brur! Malah kalo tahu aturan mainnya, enjoy saja, tuh. Barangkali yang merasa sulit mengendalikan cinta karena memang terlalu memanjakan hawa nafsunya. Bila yang terjadi demikian, berarti memang rada-rada sulit untuk bisa mengendalikan. Ibarat kamu lagi sakit, tapi tak berusaha untuk menyembuhkannya.

Disinilah perlunya ilmu untuk mengendalikan cinta supaya nggak liar tak karuan. Kalo liar, bisa gawat. Apalagi menimpa anak masjid atawa aktivis dakwah di sekolah. Malu dong kalo sampe aktivis dakwah pacaran. Bukan hanya memalukan, tapi juga dosa.

Setiap orang boleh mencintai dan dicintai. Itu haknya, termasuk remaja seusia kamu. Tapi, bukan berarti kemudian menghalalkan segala cara, seperti pacaran. Brur, aktivitas itu sangat bertentangan dengan ajaran Islam. Kamu ‘kan seorang muslim, masak mau melakukan tradisi yang bukan berasal dari Islam. Suer, budaya pacaran itu tak dikenal dalam kamus ajaran Islam. Nggak ada itu. Catet, ya!

Yakin deh, cinta itu bisa dikendalikan. Yang nggak bisa itu adalah dimatikan. Ini memang urusan hati. Jadi, sejauh mana hati kita bisa menahan hawa nafsu yang bergejolak dalam gairah jiwa muda kita. Kamu tetap harus tahu aturan main dalam Islam. Wajib kamu ketahui bahwa Islam tak pernah mengekang umatnya. Kalaupun anda aturan yang menurut kamu mengekang aktivitas kamu, itu adalah upaya Islam untuk menyelamatkan umatnya. Ya, itulah risiko kamu milih Islam, yang tentu saja itu adalah pilihan terbaik buat kamu.

Sobat, hal yang paling mendasar sebagai seorang muslim adalah beriman kepada Allah S.W.T. Iman kepada Allah itu bukan cuma mengimani keberadaan-Nya saja, yakni hubungan penciptaan (shilatul khalqi), tapi sekaligus harus ada hubungan perintah-perintah (shilatul awaamir). Nah, dengan kata lain, wajib taat terhadap apa yang telah ditetapkan oleh Allah dan Rasul-Nya. Firman Allah S.W.T,

“Dan, tidaklah patut bagi laki-laki yang mukmin dan tidak (pula) bagi wanita yang mukmin, apabila Allah dan Rasul-Nya telah menetapkan suatu ketetapan, akan ada bagi mereka pilihan (yang lain) tentang urusan mereka. Barangsiapa mendurhakai Allah dan Rasul-Nya maka sungguhlah dia telah sesat, sesat yang nyata.” (al-Ahzab:36)

Ketaatan yang kamu bangun itu akan menciptakan dinding yang tebal agar kamu tak tergoda untuk melihat atau melakukan aktivitas yang “nggak-nggak.” Terus kamu juga harus memahami bahwa perasaan cinta itu muncul juka ada rangsangan dari luar. Maka, langkah bijak dan logis adalah menutup seluruh peluang yang bisa membuat kamu tergoda untuk melakukannya. Hindari aktivitas yang menjurus kepada pikiran-pikiran yang liar, yang membuat kamu merasa gatal bila tak menempuh jalur pacaran untuk mengekspresikan cinta kamu. Sebaliknya, kamu harus menyibukkan diri dalam aktivitas yang tidak bersentuhan dengan perasaan-perasaan cinta terhadap lawan jenis kamu. Olahraga atau full ngurus pengajian dan rajin puasa, insya Allah cara itu bisa mengusir keinginan kamu untuk melakukan pacaran.

Zina? No Way!
Idih, ngeri bin serem! Ketimbang zina, menikah lebih aman dan berpahala. Iya, nggak? Tapi sebentar, kita kan masih sekolah, masak mau nekat nikah, sih? Ya, itu persoalannya.

Sekarang, tak ada jalan lain bila kamu tetap ngotot ingin menyalurkan “aspirasi” kamu kepada lawan jenis kecuali nikah. Nikah adalah sarana legal dan aman secara syar’i untuk menumpahkan kasih sayang kita seutuhnya kepada lawan jenis. Firman Allah S.W.T,

Bahkan, Al-Qur’an juga menyisipkan larangan untuk berbuat zina. Allah S.W.T berfirman,

“Dan, janganlah kamu mendekati zina; sesungguhnya, zina itu adalah suatu perbuatan yang keji dan suatu jalan yang buruk.” (al-Israa’:32)

Inilah Al-Qur’an pedoman yang paripurna yang bakal menyelamatkan kita.

Kembali ke urusan cinta. Memang bila kamu tetap ngotot ingin berkasih sayang dengan putri pujaan kamu, atau untuk yang putri dengan “Arjuna” pilihannya, ya sudah, nikah saja. Habis perkara. Iya, nggak? Kalo ternyata masih pikir-pikir karena masih sekolah, mendingan keinginan itu “dikubur” dulu untuk sementara. Kamu fokuskan untuk belajar. Tapi ingat, jangan coba-coba nekat untuk “mendekati” kekasihmu dengan cara pacaran.

Soalnya, Non, pacaran itu adalah pintu gerbang menuju perzinaan. Makanya, kita wanti-wanti banget jangan sampai kamu ngotot melakukan aktivitas baku syahwat yang dilarang oleh Allah dan Rasul-Nya.

Jadi, sekali lagi, pacaran islami itu nggak ada dalam kamus ajaran Islam. Kalaupun boleh mengatakan, ada sih “pacaran” islami, yakni nikah dulu!

Dikutip dari buku Jangan Jadi Bebek karangan O. Solihin Hal. 118-125 dengan perubahan.

(Sumber : lampuislam.org)
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